Different Loving

A detailed, eye-opening account of the real sexual underground in America . . . a thorough and serious study. Playboy The definitive guide to the sexual styles of those who walk on the wild side. Kirkus Reviews As a window on largely unexplored territory, Different Loving is a breakthrough in the dialogue on human sexuality, and a significant work of popular sociology. South Bend Tribune A comprehensive primer on loving with leather and romance by riding crop. Michael Musto, New York Daily News Informationen zum Autor William D. Brame , husband of Gloria Brame, is a professional archaeologist, novelist, and freelance writer. Brame is the author of Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission. Gloria Brame is a bestselling author and internationally renowned sex therapist well known for her research into eliminating stigmas from BDSM and fetish sex. She received her MA in English literature from Columbia University and a PhD in human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Brame became a certified sexologist from the American College of Sexologists in 2002. She is the author of several breakthrough books on sexual relationships, such as Different Loving , Different Loving Too , and The Truth About Sex: A Sex Primer for the 21st Century . Jon Jacobs is a freelance writer and editor with a background in photojournalism. Jacobs is the author of Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission. Klappentext "A detailed, eye-opening account of the real sexual underground in America . . . a thorough and serious study."-Playboy From Different Loving: In order to understand unusual sexualities such as dominance and submission, one first has to consider the question 'What is normal?' If the unique function of sex is reproductive-and the only reason men and women should engage in sex is for the purpose of creating a new life-then only heterosexual intercourse is normal. By this standard, many common acts, even contraception, must be considered aberrant. Reproductive relevance was the Victorian standard of normalcy, and even today many of the laws in the United States still abide by that model. But people have always pursued sex for both reproduction and for pleasure and well-being. We start from the premise that sex for pleasure is a normal human drive and is acceptable when it brings pleasure to both partners. From this perspective, D&S is simply a 'different' kind of loving. We hope to add to the greater body of knowledge about what people really do behind closed doors with the people they most love and trust. Perhaps Different Loving will help open the door for further research into the mystery, beauty, and complexity of human life and its diverse expressions. Praise for Different Loving "The definitive guide to the sexual styles of those who walk on the wild side."-Kirkus Reviews "As a window on largely unexplored territory, Different Loving is a breakthrough in the dialogue on human sexuality, and a significant work of popular sociology."-South Bend Tribune "A comprehensive primer on loving with leather and romance by riding crop."-Michael Musto, New York Daily News Leseprobe One INTRODUCTION In order to understand unusual sexualities such as dominance and submission (D&S), one first has to consider the question, What is normal? If the unique function of sex is reproductiveand the only reason men and women should engage in sex is for the purpose of creating new lifethen only heterosexual intercourse is normal. Masturbation, oral sex, and even contraception must be considered aberrant. Reproductive relevance was the Victorian standard of normalcy, and even today many of the laws d...

Autorentext
William D. Brame, husband of Gloria Brame, is a professional archaeologist, novelist, and freelance writer. Brame is the author of Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission. 

Gloria Brame is a bestselling author and internationally renowned sex therapist well known for her research into eliminating stigmas from BDSM and fetish sex. She received her MA in English literature from Columbia University and a PhD in human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Brame became a certified sexologist from the American College of Sexologists in 2002. She is the author of several breakthrough books on sexual relationships, such as Different Loving, Different Loving Too, and The Truth About Sex: A Sex Primer for the 21st Century.

Jon Jacobs is a freelance writer and editor with a background in photojournalism. Jacobs is the author of Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission.

Leseprobe
One
 
 
INTRODUCTION
 
In order to understand unusual sexualities such as dominance and submission (D&S), one first has to consider the question, “What is normal?” If the unique function of sex is reproductive—and the only reason men and women should engage in sex is for the purpose of creating new life—then only heterosexual intercourse is normal. Masturbation, oral sex, and even contraception must be considered aberrant. Reproductive relevance was the Victorian standard of normalcy, and even today many of the laws defining criminal sexual behaviors in the United States still abide by that model. In reality, however, people have always pursued sex for reproduction as well as for pleasure and well-being.
 
The term normal is meaningless in terms of sexuality. It is commonly used as the opposite of abnormal and therefore as a euphemism for “good” versus “bad.” The consensus among sex therapists is that anything that occurs between consenting adults that harms no one is acceptable.
—HOWARD AND MARTHA LEWIS
 
We start from the premise that sex for pleasure is a normal human drive and is acceptable when it brings pleasure to both partners. From this perspective, D&S is simply a “different” kind of loving.
 
This book is biased toward heterosexuals quite simply because there are more heterosexuals than homosexuals in the general population as well as in the world of D&S. Gays and lesbians are nonetheless a vital and vocal component of the D&S communities and a pioneering force for the dissemination of reliable information and safety guidelines.
 
We use the term D&S to describe erotic activities more commonly known as sadomasochism (S/M) or bondage and discipline (B&D). Since many of our interviewees make careful distinctions among these three categories, we honor their choice of terminology in interviews and citations. In fact, defining a universally accepted label for sadomasochistic behaviors is controversial. (See Chapter 3, “The ABCs of D&S,” for detailed discussion.)
 
Few mutually consensual sexual activities are regarded with as much censure as D&S. The dearth of sensible, candid information about D&S has fostered exaggerated, negatively charged stereotypes. Dominatrices are, for example, typically portrayed as destroyers of men—a combination of the mythical enchantress Circe and the voluptuous Marlene Dietrich in The Blue Angel, hell-bent on emasculation. Female submissives are depicted as neurotic, self-destructive victims. And the very word sadist conjures the image of a criminal inflicting violent torture on helpless victims. When serial killers, such as Ted Bundy, announce that they were influenced by sadomasochistic pornography, the educated and uneducated alike accept the idea that a sociopath is an exemplar of a sexual behavior. Do some sadomasochists commit felonious assault? Undoubtedly. So do some devout Christians. Sadomasochists are prey to the same failings as r…

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